Reflections on Group Coaching Training

Jessica Chivers | December 2024.

This ‘reflective essay’ was written at the end of a three month Professional Group Coaching programme with coaching psychologist Ana Paula Nacif. I share as a window on Group Coaching training and to inspire and encourage other executive coaches and coaching psychologists to keep developing their practice and their self-understanding. It is the full, unedited version.

Approaching Group Coach training

I approached the learning with positive anticipation after hearing Ana Paula speak about group coaching at the British Psychological Society’s Division of Coaching Psychology conference in June 2024. This was serendipitous as I’d only weeks before discussed with a colleague who runs group coaching on an executive education programme at London Business School the merits of group coaching for a particular need/population I am keen to work with.

After 20 years of coaching training and CPD activities I have learned that I am most successful at applying what I learn when I am thinking from the start how/when/with whom I will make use of it. I came to the group coaching training with the intention of piloting a group coaching programme for parents of neurodivergent children who are seeking support to maintain or increase their own wellbeing and maintain or progress their careers. I’ve found it helpful to have this intention sitting in the background throughout the programme as it’s helped me really think about the application of what I am learning.

I thought I knew what was meant by ‘Group Coaching’ (GC) when I started the course and I soon realised what I was holding in mind was more akin to hot-seat coaching. Hot-seat coaching does technically fit within Nacif’s definition of group coaching “A collaborative and time-limited small-group process in which a professionally trained coach uses coaching principles and approaches to work with a group of individuals on their own personal goals and/or outcomes.” (Nacif, 2021, p.172) The experiential reality of GC, however, as taught and demonstrated by Ana Paula is that the group is always together as one, with all goals/outcomes always present event whichever person is talking. It’s like a complex interwoven web of threads where everyone is ‘getting somewhere’ at the same time.

Is the Group Coach really necessary in high-functioning groups?

As a group we sometimes wondered whether the Group Coach was really necessary as the group seemed to be functioning so well without her/him. We reflected that part of the apparent ease of the group working together is likely to be because of the skills we have honed as coaches and these same skills are perhaps less likely to be present in the groups we go onto work with. This said, there were times when we came out of practice sessions that we reflected on how important it was to know that the Coach was there. That the presence of the Coach allowed the conversation to happen because we felt ‘secure’ that there were boundaries being held by the coach. I have heavily underlined these words from “Group and Team Coaching: The Secret Life of Groups” (Thornton, 2016) which I read as part of the training programme:

“What does not change is the Group Coach’s role as boundary keeper, the person who holds the framework within which the group works. The group coach, like the individual coach, focusses on the group’s task mainly indirectly, by promoting group members’ capacities to tackle it. The primary focus is on helping the group move the task forward by concentrating on the quality of interactions in the group. If the group coach is seduced into focussing on the group’s task rather than his/her own, which is to help the group improve it’s functioning, the group and its task will be the loser.” (p. 38)

The magical and fortifying qualities of Group Coaching

I’ve been struggling to find a word that precisely captures the beauty, magic and efficacy of the group coaching experience. What I see and feel is that learning is taking place constantly for all group members, albeit at different paces, and that the insights group members get (that relate to their goals/objectives) often come seemingly out of nowhere, sparked by something another group member says. It’s such a rich experience.

I’ve been struck by how validating and useful GT can be for people who are experiencing something that makes them feel different/separate/alone and that is not easily discussed with or understood by the people closest to them. To come together as a group under a uniting theme such as ‘working and living well as a parent of neurodivergent children’ is to say “your challenges are real and shared by others. You are not alone”. This is a unique and precious feature of GT than 1:1 coaching cannot replicate. I think it’s fortifying to spend time with people who share similar struggles and aspirations.

Different flavours of Group Coach

When I’m learning something new I will pay attention in a forensic way, attending to exactly how the teacher/instructor is doing what they’re doing. In the beginning one doesn’t know if those particular words, body language or timing – for example – are quite deliberate and integral to the practice. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking the way the teacher/instructor is doing something is the way it ‘must’ be done! Ana Paula has a warmth and humility about her which came out in a specifically reassuring way in the first session “This is just one way…you will bring your own approach and style” or words to that effect. I relaxed a little.

Seeing other coaches in action helped me see that of course there will be different flavours of Group Coach, just as there are many different flavours of Executive Coach or Coaching Psychologist. We in ourselves are different, will attend to different things and will bring different philosophies and tools into the groups we work with. I have started thinking for instance about how I might bring a solution-focus and strengths-based approach to the work I do with groups.

One of the things I most liked about the GC programme was the experiential nature of it: the broader learning that comes from experiencing (when being a participant in a fishbowl exercise) or witnessing (when outside the fishbowl) different ways of being as a coach not just in relation to the topic at hand but generally. There are ways of being and questions I enjoyed that I will bring in to my own practice. For instance:

“What do you need from yourself?” (Asked by the coach at the start of the session before asking “what do you need from the group?”)
“Where are we on this topic?” A question to help the group pause or re-set.
What do you like about groups? This was a question Ana Paula asked us at the very start of the first module as a way for us to start to introduce ourselves and get to know one another. I thought it brilliant because: 1) it avoids the introduction of status or hierarchy (which is the case if we introduced ourselves by saying what we do for a living/who we work with/where we work); 2) it relates to the task at hand (learning about GC); 3) it allows participants the choice to go deep or stay ‘light’ with their responses and 4) it has a positive bent (which is useful when we think about Frederickson’s Broaden & Build Theory of positive emotions).

Developing my practice

To do is to learn. There’s only so much one can learn – or think we learned – by thinking about it in theory. I am grateful that another participant on the course suggested and took responsibility for setting up a GC practice group, of which I am a part. We’ve set up six practice sessions and are rotating the role of Coach. My turn is in January which I’m looking forward to, although feel a level of butterflies-in-stomach about. I know that this is wrapped up in holding myself to irrational standards and expecting myself to be proficient in something that I haven’t done before.

Thinking about how I move my practice forward, I would like to be a participant in a GC intervention that is led by someone who hasn’t be trained or worked with Ana Paula so that I experience something completely different.

I am looking forward to working with my first group in the spring, most likely on the theme of living and working well as a parent of (a) neurodivergent child(ren). This will also be a new experience in the sense that I intend to run it as an open programme, meaning there is work to do to construct and execute an effective marketing strategy. This will be a project in itself!

And so to endings

Before the final module I read the paper Ana Paula sent us by Birnbaum et al (2002) on endings. This is an area I think I can do better with my current 1:1 coaching work. I noted two important things from the research in this paper:

There is increased satisfaction of group members when there is a purposeful ending to each session.
There is an increased sense of accomplishment of group members when there is a purposeful ending to each session.

Questions such as these can support members in looking for meaning in the single group event and what they take away and use on the world outside the group:

What did you learn today?
What stood out for you in the session?
How would you compare this session with previous?

A purposeful ending also enhances the transition between sessions by eliciting suggestions for further discussion.

Spending time thinking about endings as part of the GC training has translated into better endings of 1:1 coaching sessions as I have been mindful of consistently bringing coachees to a point of reflection five minutes before the end. I realise that in the past I have been inconsistent in doing this and I have been too willing to let coachees keep talking, thinking and problem-solving right up to the end of a session and then needing to check in that we can run over for a minute or two to close off the session. This is not ideal and not always possible! A purposeful ending also allows the coachee to feel calm and relaxed – not rushed and still processing the content of the coaching session – and set them up for whatever they have next in their day.

REFERENCES

Birnbuam, M. L., Mason, S. E. and Cicchetti, A. (2003). Impact of purposeful sessional endings on both the group and the practitioner. Social Work with Groups, 25 (4) 3-19.

Nacif, A. (2021) BeWell: a group coaching model to foster the wellbeing of individuals, International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, S15, pp.171-186.

Thornton, C. (2016). Group and Team Coaching: The Secret Life of Groups. Routledge: Abingdon.

TALENT KEEPING: How to make 1:1s less ‘meh’

This article first appeared in Talent Keeping 16/10/24, a fortnightly psychology-based newsletter for workplace performance, relationships and wellbeing. Subscribe here.

How to make 1:1s less meh in a nutshell

1:1s have an almost magical ability to elevate a direct report’s mood, performance and wanting to stay part of your team, yet they’re often a dismal affair. Six ways to move 1:1s from ‘meh’ to ‘yes!’ are 1) making them 40 minutes every fortnight; 2) nudging your team member to prepare 48 hours before; 3) keeping your diary clear 15 minutes beforehand; 4) opening with “what’s gone well since our last 1:1?”; 5) following with “what do you need for our time together today?” and 6) recapping what you’ve heard and the actions you’re going to take.

Six ways to make 1:1s better

Last week a coachee delighted in telling me how well her most recent 1:1 had gone with her boss. In her last coaching session we’d discussed how she could take control to make them more ‘yes!’ and less ‘meh’.
I think line management is particularly emotionally tiring at the moment with issues such as the Gaza-Israel conflict affecting some team relations, and ongoing tensions around how much time team members should be spending in the office. So in this fortnight’s edition of Talent Keeping I’m thinking from the line manager’s perspective and offering some pointers about how to induce that positive state my coachee had experienced (after her 1:1) in your direct reports.

6 ways to make 1:1s better:

1. Make them 40 minutes fortnightly.
2. Nudge your team member to prepare for the 1:1 48 hours before.
3. Keep your diary clear 15 minutes before the 1:1.
4. Open with “What’s gone well since our last 1:1?”
5. Follow with “What do you need from our time together today?”
6. Recap what you’ve heard, the actions you’re going to take and when.

40 minutes fortnightly

40 minutes is roomy enough to have a substantial conversation and sufficiently short that it requires a tight focus. Search online for the best cadence for 1:1 and responses coalesce around fortnightly. I think this timing takes account of what’s good for both parties. In my experience this gives the direct report enough time to make use of the support she received, whereas weekly might feel too soon and be too demanding on the manager’s schedule, especially is she/he has more than five direct reports. Fortnightly, rather than monthly decreases the risk of a team member’s performance dropping through lack of opportunity to work through issues or ‘interference’ (Timothy Gallwey’s Performance = Potential – Interference).

Prep 48 hours before

Direct reports with strong upward management skills will be sending you their agenda a day or two before you’re due to meet. They’ve learned they have better 1:1s if they signpost what’s on their minds ahead of time to give you opportunity to reflect. If your DR’s are in the habit of doing this please do make sure you’ve read what they’ve sent and thank them at the start for doing so. I make a promise to coachees that if I get their ‘Reflect & Prep’ document 24 hours ahead of their coaching session that I will have read it.
If your DR’s don’t yet send you things to consider, a way of asking them to do so is this:
“I’ve been thinking about how we make our 1:1s (even) better. To help me to help you, please could you drop me an e-mail a day or two before with a few bullet points about what you would like to cover in your 1:1.. It can be whatever is on your mind to do with work or outside work, short term or long term. I am also interested to hear what’s gone well since our last 1:1.”

Keep 15 minutes clear before 1:1s

This is about you managing your state so that you come to the 1:1 ready to listen and give your best attention. ‘Attention residue’ is the phenomenon of our minds still being on our last meeting when we enter the next because we haven’t given our time to close down and prepare for the next. I cover this on episode 88 of COMEBACK COACH*: Finding focus when you’re stretched and shattered – psychology of attention – deep work – my coachees’s top tips for traction. Have some air, get the coffees in, go to the loo, stretch your legs – whatever it takes to turn up showing you’re prepared and ready to listen. Your direct report doesn’t need to be burdened by what happened in the meeting you’ve just come from, which is what’s likely to happen if you don’t place that strategic pause between it and her/him.

What’s gone well?

This is a beautifully broad invitation which sets a positive tone and which paves the way for better thinking (the ‘Broaden & Build’ theory of positive emotions which I talk through at the beginning of episode 83 of COMEBACK COACH). Once you get into the swing of starting 1:1s in this way your DR will (hopefully) come prepared and not squirm uncomfortably. Some people don’t naturally notice the ‘good stuff’ or they have a tendency to think something has gone well only when it went ‘perfectly’ or according to a pre-conceived idea of what is ‘right’ or indeed once something is complete (rather than recognising progress as something deemed to have gone well).

What do you need from our time together today?

Questions are my business as a coaching psychologist and I love this one because it empowers the DR by reminding them that the time is theirs to decide what to do with. I recommend asking it even if your DR has e-mailed their ‘agenda’ for the meeting (and do mention that you’ve seen their e-mail and read it). If your DR draws a blank, sit with the silence a while. If nothing’s forthcoming you might try asking what’s been weighing on their mind at work or at home lately.

Recap what you heard

I once read that waiting staff who read back customers’ orders get bigger tips. The psychology at work here is the customer feeling she can relax because she’s in good hands which paves the way for a better dining experience and more generous tipping. In the same way, you briefly playing back what you’ve heard signals to your DR that she’s been heard and understood. It creates good feeling. It’s important to recap the actions you’ve said you’ll take too. You might add “have I missed anything or got anything wrong there?”
I recommend keeping 10 minutes clear after your 1:1 to plan when you’ll take the actions you’ve committed to and add them to your schedule.
Sidenote: if you’re a line manager who doesn’t show vulnerability and/or gives the impression you’ve always got things under control adding in the “or got anything wrong?” is a small way to start showing your DR’s that you are human.

My coachee’s uplifting 1:1

Looping back to the coachee I mentioned at the start, when we dug into why the 1:1 was as good as it was she reflected that:

• She started the 1:1 by telling her boss about her wins and this made them both feel good.
• She’d sent her thoughts to him ahead of time which he thanked her for and enabled him to be better prepared.
• She thought it had been more productive than past 1:1s.
• They covered the ground she wanted to cover.
• Her boss made a comment about her being committed and seeming more confident lately. (This felt like a MASSIVE win for her as these are two perceptions she wanted to create in the minds of others and which we’ve been working on in coaching).

*Our top-rated, not yet award winning podcast for people returning to work after a break. Recommended by HR leaders to retuning employees.

Working Parents of Neurodivergent Children

Hello, I’m so pleased you’re here.

I’m Jessica Chivers, a coaching psychologist, founder of The Talent Keeper Specialists and author of “Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work”. I’m also mother of two neurodivergent teenagers and I’d really like to know your experience of being a working parent to one or more neurodivergent children.

Here at The Talent Keeper Specialists we are growing our understanding and capability to coach people whose careers and work performance are affected by neurodivergence. Working people who are ND, line managers of neurodivergent team members and working parents of children who have ADHD, autism or who are neurodivergent in another way.

Survey to understand the experience of working parents with (a) neurodivergent child(ren)

We would like to deepen our understanding of how parents’ careers, relationships and wellbeing are affected by their child being neurodivergent. We’re starting by inviting working parents to tell us about their experiences via a confidential survey.

The survey has two sections:

The first section is quick to complete. It will take about 5 minutes.
The second section asks for more detailed reflections from you about your career, wellbeing and relationships as someone raising a child (or children) who is/are neurodivergent. This is likely to take 15-20 minutes depending on how much of what I’m asking is sitting top of mind. You might like a cup of tea and a comfy chair for this bit.

When I wrote my first book I used a survey like this to gather insights before I started writing. People told me they found answering the questions cathartic and looked forward to subsequent surveys gathering their experiences for specific chapters.

My experience of raising a child with ADHD, oppositional behaviours and “atypical autism”

My son was permanently excluded from school four months before his GCSE’s in 2022 for ‘persistent disruptive behaviour’. My marriage has been on the brink. And quite frankly I’ve thanked my lucky stars I began working for myself age 25 as I don’t know how on earth I’d have kept earning as an employee these past six years. I LOVE my job but being a parent to an ND child requires higher levels of flexibility and understanding than most employers will give.

I have learned more than I ever would have liked to about how to stay upright and afloat professionally and personally when you’re caring this extra complexity of caring load. School refusal, being called out of meetings, being called into school meetings, fighting for an EHCP (and winning!), cajoling kids for CAMHS appointments, feeling judged by other parents, living with an anxious feeling in your chest…the list goes on.

I was screened for ADHD using the Qb in 2022 and was formally assessed and given a diagnosis of ADHD in November 2023.

(The photo above is from the entrance to a CAMHS space in Hertfordshire at my son’s last appointment July 2024 as he approaches 18).

A few helpful resources right now

Add-vance.org – The ADHD & Autism Trust supporting parents and carers of neurodivergent children (UK organisation). Has a closed FB group for peer-to-peer support.
National Autistic Society
Additude – US organisation with an excellent podcast and lots of online information about ADHD.
ADHD Women’s Wellbeing podcast with Kate Moryoussef
ADHD Chatter podcast with Alex Partridge.

Please be in touch if I raised anything in this post that you would like to discuss, including coaching: hello@talentkeepers.co.uk and +44 (0)1727 856169.

1+2 focussed coaching for success

1+2 Short & impactful coaching

If you’ve had or are used to commissioning executive coaching that takes place over 6-12 months, I invite you to consider an alternative: our 1+2 coaching approach over 6-8 weeks. Now bookable via online payment, should skirting around POs and supplier set-up admin be helpful to you. 2+1 coaching is a cost effective and impactful way to:

Acknowledge their significant place in your team (after all you wouldn’t sponsor it if you didn’t think they’d make good use of the investment and you wanted to keep them in your team)
Demonstrate you care and are committed to their development, success and wellbeing.
Support them in managing and minimising the ‘interference’ that’s getting in the way of them doing, be and delivering in the way they want, and the way you need them to.

1+2 coaching format

15 minute ‘hello’ call with a coach in our team we think you’ll find affinity with.*
30 minutes of pre-work to identify the key challenges you want to focus on and significantly improve.
90 minute in person coaching session in central London culminating in an action plan that addresses the challenges you identified in your pre-work and in this coaching session.
30 minutes of self-reflection and preparation activity using our focussed ‘Reflect & Prep’ framework between the first and second coaching meeting.
45 minute remote coaching session 2-4 weeks after your first coaching session. This can be on Teams, Zoom or phone. You might choose to take this as a walking coaching meeting by phone.
30 minutes of self-reflection and preparation activity using our focussed ‘Reflect & Prep’ framework between the second and third coaching meeting.
45 minute remote coaching session 2-4 weeks after your second coaching session. This can be on Teams, Zoom or phone. You might choose to take this as a walking coaching meeting by phone.

*If for whatever reason you don’t feel a connection with Caroline, Ian, Laura, SJ, Shiobaun or me you simply drop Trish a line and ask to set up another hello call. If the coach believes an alternative coach or type of support would serve you better, she/he will discuss this with you.

If you’d like to have a chat about exactly what you are looking for for you or someone else, please e-mail hello@talentkeepers.co.uk with “1+2 COACHING” as your subject. If you’re ready to buy now, please use the link and we’ll be in touch soon after.

‘3 hour coachee’ views

“She was excellent, no topic to discuss was too small or big. I really enjoyed our sessions together. Having to fill out the form beforehand helped me get clear about what I wanted to achieve in each session, which made the time even more beneficial.” Zoe, manager of a team of creatives, June 2024 (3 hours of coaching).
“The amount my self belief has increased is immeasurable.” Hannah, journalist, June 2024 (3 hours of coaching).
“It was fantastic. I really valued her ability to listen to my feelings. I reflected on specific situations and was trouble-shooting how to approach similar things in the future.” Meera, governance manager, May 2024 (3 hours of coaching).

Coaching to minimise interference and maximise performance

Perhaps you’ve read Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis (I haven’t) in which he says Performance = Potential – Interference. The amount of ‘interference’ going on in your or your direct reports’ minds depends on many factors including life stage and life at home.

Have you noticed the amount of ‘interference’ you are attempting to deal with has increased lately? Have you noticed a direct report seems to be working harder than ever to deliver the same outcomes? Does your intuition tell you that a someone you work with needs some support?

Interference in whatever form needs to be minimised for employees to make meaningful progress, deliver expected outcomes and be well.

My esteemed coaching colleagues and I are masters of helping people pinpoint interference and identify sustainable ways of managing it.

What ‘interference’ have employees been bringing to coaching lately?

Not knowing exactly what’s needed from me as marketing director (newly created role; job description not fit for purpose).
I keep getting dragged into supporting direct reports’ work and then having to work in the evenings to do ‘my’ work.
I’ve got a new line manager and it’s just not working. It’s taking up so much headspace.
I am drowning in work.
My team is suffering from the lack of clarity about incoming changes to the business and it’s really hard to stay upbeat myself and pull them through.
Although I’m very senior and on paper really experienced, I’m plagued with self-doubt and don’t feel ‘on par’ with my peers.

Coaching isn’t a panacea…but there are MANY benefits

Forgive us for suggesting you might think it is, but it’s important we flag that coaching won’t solve issues that are being created by systemic cultural issues or structural challenges such as an under-resourced team. What it might do is ameliorate some of those issues and what it definitely will do is give a valued team member an invaluable space to:

Hear themselves think, get curious, recognise what needs to change, what they want to achieve and take responsibility for working on what’s under their control (and responsibly park what’s bothering them but that can’t be solved now, if at all).
Generate and explore more potential ways to make the change than they’d come up with thinking alone or with someone they can’t be completely open with (and that’s important because if the whole situation isn’t in the frame when you’re creating plans, the solutions won’t be as solid).
Feel better*
Benefit from psycho-education (that’s the formal term for what’s happening when a coaching psychologist or executive coach explains the science behind what the coachee is thinking, feeling or doing and why…and crucially, the evidence-base behind the tools they might be offering to the coachee to support their development).
Have a protective effect on the coachee’s mental health and a positive ripple effect on other colleagues. (Coaching psychologist Jessica Chivers conducted a piece of research on this that’s out for peer review at the moment. We’ll let you know when it’s published).

*Yes, feel better. That’s a heavy-weight outcome because positive emotions broaden employees’ thinking, making them more open to new ideas and possibilities. They also increase employee engagement and their level of motivation. This comes from renowned psychologist Barbara Frederickson and the Broaden & Build theory of positive emotion which we touch on in episode 83 of our podcast, COMEBACK COACH.

Coaching within budget

We know from conversations with our clients that budgets are tight or frozen and spend requests are being closely scrutinised. An alternative to commissioning 6-12 month executive coaching programmes that run into thousands of pounds is our 1+2 coaching approach over 6-8 weeks. It makes a discernible difference and if quality is important you’ve come to the right place. Our coaches have a broad and deep grounding in the science of coaching, have a shedload of superb testimonials to their name, are experienced in working across sectors and seniority and are reassuringly human and warm.

Why strengths coaching when employees return to work from maternity, sick leave and other breaks?

Whilst I was peeling carrots last Sunday my daughter reflected on how happy she is that she’s been allowed to drop GCSE Spanish. She’d fallen behind in Y9 after three months medical leave and I mused that it was a shame because she’d always seemed to enjoy it. “No,” came the reply. “I was good at it, but I didn’t enjoy it.” In Strengths Psychology speak this is a ‘learned behaviour’ – something that you’re good at but don’t find energising (at best) and might even feel drained by.

What is a strength?

A ‘strength’ as defined by Dr Alex Linley, the developer of a psychometric called Strengths Profile, is “a pre-existing capacity for a particular way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is authentic and energising to the user, and enables optimal functioning, development, and performance.” Note that word energising. A strength is only a strength of you’re good at it and you feel good when you use it. The Strengths Profile tool distinguishes between Realised and Unrealised Strengths: Realised Strengths are ones you’re making regular use of and Unrealised Strengths are those you never or rarely use in comparison to your Realised Strengths.

Why and when do we use Strength Profile?

When we’re working with coachees on our Comeback Community employee experience programme we invite them to complete Strengths Profile and have a debrief on their profile just before they return to work. It’s a great way to get them connecting with what they are good at and recalling past successes at work. This way our coachees usually feel more ready, able and energised for their return from maternity, sick, shared parental other leave from work.

What are some examples of strengths?

In the Strengths Profile tool there are 60 possible strengths that could appear in your profile. Here are some examples:

Action – You feel compelled to act immediately and decisively, being keen to learn as you go.
Compassion – You really care about others, doing all you can to help and sympathise.
Detail – You naturally focus on the small things that others easily miss, ensuring accuracy.
Humility – You are happy to stay in the background, giving others credit for your contributions.
Personal Responsibility – You take ownership of your decisions and hold yourself accountable for your promises.
Strategic Awareness – You pay attention to the wider context and bigger picture to inform your decisions.
Time Optimiser – You maximise your time, to get the most out of whatever time you have available. (Interesting side note: when the Strengths Profile team analysed 21,000 profiles in March 2021 they found Time Optimiser to be the most frequently occurring Weakness. It appeared in 48% of profiles).

What happens if I’m not using my Strengths at work?

You’re probably not performing as well or feeling as good as you could. Research by the team at Cappfinity (the organisation behind Strengths Profile) finds that when managers emphasised performance strengths, performance was 36.4% higher, compared to a 26.8% decline when emphasising weaknesses. Some more benefits of focussing on strengths at work:

People who use their strengths more reported lower levels of stress over both 3 and 6 month periods.
Increased use of strengths correlates with mindfulness which can help control stress and counter depression. (Jarden, Jose, Kashdan, Simpson, McLachlan and Mackenzie, 2012).
Strengths use supports goal attainment: Strengths alignment increases the setting of personally meaningful goals. (Madden, Green and Grant, 2011).
Strengths use is a good predicator of workplace engagement and people who use their strengths at work are six times more engaged. (Harter, Schmidt and Hayes, 2002, and Gallup, 2012).

Can strengths help me find my work more enjoyable?

YES and let me tell you about Unrealised Strengths in particular. I’ve had many coachees returning from maternity leave who tell me they stayed in a job they would otherwise have moved on from if it hadn’t been for trying to get pregnant or being pregnant. Strengths Profile distinguishes between ‘realised’ and unrealised’ strengths: strengths you’re already making quite a bit of use of and strengths that you’re not using much if at all. The Unrealised Strengths quadrant is a box of delights when it comes to helping coachees who are bored/tired/less enthusiastic about their role than they might be. Considering how you can make use of Unrealised Strengths in your work can freshen up how you’re feeling and bring a new angle or interest. You’re bringing novelty into your role when you use strengths you’ve neglected or when you consciously use a Realised Strength in a new way.

Why is the world’s most frequently occurring Strength a problem?

When the Strengths Profile team analysed 21,000 profiles in March 2021 they found Humility to be the most frequently occurring Realised Strength. It appeared in this quadrant on 57% of profiles. (The most commonly occurring Unrealised Strength was innovation, defined as “approaching things in ingenious ways, coming up with new and different approaches”). Whilst humility can be a wonderful strength, we need to be cautious of the potential downsides of not owning, celebrating and communicating our contributions, which can include:

Other people getting the invitations and opportunities that are deservedly yours.
Your perspective/knowledge/help not being sought.
Resentment when your contributions aren’t recognised.
Direct reports modelling your behaviour and experiencing the same downsides.
And one study found that if a team members feel their boss is being humble towards them because they are an exceptional employee, this can lead to a sense of entitlement and ‘deviant’ behaviour (see Qin & Chen et al, 2020).

If humility is one of your top strengths I invite you to share some of your achievements (that you’ve written in your What’s Gone Well? journal, if you’re one of our coachees 😉) with a team mate or two this coming week.

In HR? Comeback Community employee experience for returning employees

Returning to work? Comeback Community employee experience for you

You dear Bright Mind are the best possible person to help make the return to work experience where you work, a better one. There’s a simple, straightforward and quick way you can help us to start a conversation with your HR team. Just visit www.comebackcommunity.co.uk/introduce, fill a few boxes and leave the rest to us. And you can join us on Instagram @comebackcommuk for daily inspiration to keep you feeling confident, connected and cared for throughout your leave and return to work.

Until next time,
Stay Bright.

Boreout

What happens when we’re chronically bored at work?

There was so much I wanted to pick up on at the end of my conversation with fire fighter Emma Young (COMEBACK COACH episode 86) about her experience of being taken off frontline duties when she was pregnant and returning to the fire service after maternity leave. I really felt for Emma as she described the lack of clarity on what she and other fire-fighters who are put onto modified duties are meant to be doing and the lack of stretch and challenge. Being underwhelmed or under-stretched at work is a problem.

Re-framing is key to boring maths lessons…and budget meetings?

Back in 2010 German researchers explored three different ways students coped with maths lessons they found boring. The first way of responding was what the researchers labelled as RE-APPRAISAL. This is where students considered the value of maths and changed their view of the situation. The second group were labelled CRITICIZERS who tried to improve the situation by suggesting changes to the teacher; and a third group were referred to as EVADERS, who tried to avoid boredom by occupying themselves with something else. So which group do you think fared best? The results showed that the reappraising group was the least bored overall, and also experienced the most positive outcomes when it came to emotions and motivation. They enjoyed maths more and experienced the lowest levels of anxiety.

My thoughts on this study and how it applies to the workplace is that RE-APPRIAISING or ‘reframing’ can be an effective strategy but only for so long.

I wonder if you’ve heard the term boreout?

Boreout is chronic boredom caused by a prolonged feeling of being under-challenged and/or feeling there’s no point to your work.

In a study of 11,000 Finnish workers at 87 organisations in 2014 the researchers found that chronic boredom “increased the likelihood of employees’ turnover and early retirement intentions, poor self-rated health and stress symptoms”.

6 years later the findings of a study into boreout were published in the International Journal of Business & management Studies. The study looked at the experience of 186 employees in Turkish companies and found positive association between boreout, depression, stress, and anxiety.

Progress is key to good days at work

Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer explain in their book The Progress Principle that our best days at work are the ones where we feel we have made meaningful progress. They analysed 12,000 diary entries from 238 employees in 7 companies to discover the states of inner work life and the workday events that correlated with the highest levels of creative output. From their analyses, Amabile & Kramer uncovered two key forces that enable a sense of progress:

CATALYSTS – these are events that directly facilitate project work, such as clear goals and autonomy and
NOURISHERS – these are interpersonal events that uplift us. Things like encouragement and demonstrations of respect and collegiality.

These two things, catalysts and nourishers are things line managers need to see as their work as people leaders.

And talking of line managers…

Emma used the word ‘lucky’ several times in reference to her station commander – her line manager essentially. ‘Luck’ is something that really shouldn’t come into the experience people have when they return to work after a break. Yes, line managers vary as all humans do in their natural ability to demonstrate warmth and care and interest BUT there are certain things all line managers can and should do to enable their team member to come back to their role and feel comfortable as quickly as possible. It’s why all of the work we do with returning employees includes an education piece for the line manager. This includes a 1:1 upskill session with the same coach who is coaching the returning team member; online resources and a pithy, practical written guide line managers can refer to. If you think the experience of returning to work could be better in your organisation, please complete this very short form to introduce us to your HR team or e-mail hello@talentkeepers.co.uk. You just tell us who we should be talking to and we’ll take care of the rest.

Managing rumination + keeping healthy habits when you’re consumed with problems at work

This is the transcript of episode 83 of COMEBACK COACH, the podcast for people returning to work after a break.

Hello Bright Minds, I’m Jessica Chivers a coaching psychologist, the author of “Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work” and founder of The Talent Keeper Specialists. I’m also the developer of the Comeback Community employee experience designed to keep employees feeling confident, connected and cared for when they take any kind of extended leave from work.

This short “JUST JESSICA EPISODE” is about managing rumination, how to keep healthy habits going when you’re consumed by work and the psychology of mindful meditation. It’s inspired by a particular coaching conversation I had one Tuesday a few weeks ago. I put these episodes together myself without the lovely Chris cleaning up bumps in the sound or adding in the swanky intro and outro and I hope you get something from it. If you do, I’d love it if you shared it with someone else who you think might like it too.

What’s gone well since last time we worked together?

I start all but the first coaching session with my coachees by asking “what’s gone well since the last time we worked together?” There’s some psychology behind this question that comes from the work of social psychology Professor Barbara Fredrickson. She developed the Broaden & Build theory which says that positive emotions do much more than cause us happiness, joy, and contentment in the moments we experience them. They also broaden our behaviours (or what she calls “thought-action repertoires” which basically means the range of behaviours we can perceive and subsequently decide to take). The more positive emotions we experience, the wider the range of thought-action repertoires we have – in other words, the happier we are, the more flexible and creative we are in the way that we work.

Imagine a communications manager who’s worried about redundancy. She’s unlikely to come up with daring, innovative, award-winning comms because she’s focused on safety and survival, and not much else.

On the other hand, if we’re feeling good, our broadened behaviours help us build rich work-related knowledge, skills and abilities which Professor Fredrickson refers to as personal, physical, intellectual, social, and psychological resources. These broadened resources outlast the good feelings that initially helped generate them and they also help us cope better with difficult situations.

So by opening coaching sessions by asking “What’s gone well?” since last time I’m aiming to generate positive feelings. It’s also why we encourage coachees to reflect daily or weekly on this same question using the beautiful WGW journal we include in their Welcome Back Box that greets them when they return to work.

Coaching Charlie who was consumed by work problems

One coachee, let’s call her Charlie, answered the WGW question recently by telling me how she’d got through an uncomfortable time at work managing two people out of her team and was pleased that she’d handled it professionally and with as much care and compassion as she could. Although this was a story about what had gone well, she described how her mind had been completely consumed by the situation. This left her less able to get on with business activities in the way she normally would, distracted at home and enduring broken sleep. Our conversation happened a few days after both individuals had left the business and she was feeling enormous relief, was sleeping better and had got a shedload of work tasks ticked off in the two days since they’d gone.

In coaching time Charlie reflected that she hadn’t realised until after the team members had left just how consumed she’d been with the situation and the effect it was having on her. By consumed I mean constantly thinking about the situation, or ruminating, not working on the activities associated with managing the situation.

Here’s what else was happening to Charlie:

• Not exercising
• Drinking alcohol midweek
• Not eating breakfast or lunch
• Fuelling herself with coffee
• Being distracted and distant at home
• Falling asleep on the settee at 7pm
• Waking up in the night
• An aching, tired body

The problem was, Charlie wasn’t noticing these things. And without awareness you can’t change things. The things are a mixture of causes and symptoms (some are both) and taken together these will have put even more load on Charlie’s mind and body on top of the emotional stress of having to performance manage two team member out of the business.

I wondered whether having a ‘healthy habits’ checklist that Charlie runs through at the end of each day – irrespective of whether she feels she’s having a hard time at work – could be useful to help her in the future. My thinking is that if she gets into the habit of checking in with herself every day, she’ll spot warning signs earlier and be able to course correct.

Daily Check-In Tool

So Dear Bright Minds I put together a DAILY CHECK-IN tool and whizzed it over to Charlie for her feedback and she thought it would be helpful, so here I am sharing it with you. If what I’ve described at Charlie’s situation resonates or you’re simply curious, head to www.comebackcommunity.co.uk/dailycheckin.pdf to get a copy you can print and use.

Now let’s say a bit more about what rumination is and how to deal with it, because rumination is a problem behaviour in itself.

Before I do, if you’re listening to this before 21st May 2024 you’re in time to join our live Q&A with clinical psychologist Michaela Thomas on HOW TO LIVE WELL WITH ANXIETY AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. We call these live live Q&As ‘Comeback Conversations’ because they’re informal chats with experts on topics of interest to people coming back to work from a break. They’re part of our Comeback Community employee experience programme that we deliver in some great workplaces to keep their people feeling confident, connected and cared for when they take any kind of extended leave from work. Once our clients have had first dibs we open spare spots to all absolutely free. Incidentally, you can also hear Michaela on episode 81 talking about perfectionism, ADHD and keeping resentment at bay when partners becoming parents in the context of her experience of returning to work from maternity leave firstly as a clinical psychologist in the NHS and then after her second maternity leave, working for herself.

Greg Siegle is a Professor of Psychiatry, Psychology, and Translational Sciences at University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and he’s spent 25 years exploring rumination. That’s a lot of thinking about thinking.

Rumination

Rumination is defined in the Oxford dictionary as thinking deeply about something. I like to ruminate, may you do too. But the concept of ruminating doesn’t have particularly positive connotations – we tend to think of it as a problematic behaviour. And rumination becomes a problem when you’d like to stop thinking about something but you can’t. You might be familiar with replaying an embarrassing or hurtful conversation in your head, mentally dissecting what happened, considering what the consequences might be, why you didn’t do things differently and just going round and round in this horrible loop that takes you nowhere and leaves you feeling sh1t quite frankly and totally drained.

There’s a collection of areas of the brain that have been labelled the Default Mode Network which neuroscientists have found are active when we’re awake but not directing our attention to anything in particular. For example when we’re sitting on a train gazing out of the window day-dreaming. The flipside is when we’re concentrating on something specific such as giving someone directions or explaining to a colleague what to include in a client report, the Default Mode Network is less active.

And why do I tell you this? Well the Default Mode Network has been found to be more active in people who are prone to unhelpful rumination – and by that I mean rumination that gets in the way of daily tasks, our ability to concentrate, connect with others or to experience positive emotions. People who have a clinical diagnosis of depression are likely to have higher levels of DMN activity.

Distraction as antidote to rumination

So what’s the answer? Well according to our friend Professor Siegle from the university of Pittsburgh its DISTRACTION. Distraction is the number one way to move ourselves on from unhelpful rumination he said in the New York Times earlier this year and there’s good evidence for that. And that makes sense because when we’re actively engaged in a task that needs a lot of concentration we’ve reduced the activity of the Default Mode Network, that functional collection of areas in the brain that’s more active when we’re ruminating. Still with me? I hope so.
Right, let’s talk about meditation and how that links to all this. Meditation has been shown to reduce the activity of the Default Mode Network and to be a super helpful way to reduce rumination. Meditation exercises are essentially ways to focus very specifically on the here and now. In mindfulness meditation, we’re learning how to pay attention to the breath as it goes in and out and notice when the mind wanders. This practice of returning to the breath builds our ability to concentrate as well giving us a break from whatever has been racing around our minds. I also like using meditation mantras from the kundalini yoga tradition and I’ve included links to a couple of tracks I find myself returning to time and again.

I’ve put a link in the show notes to a very readable yet packed-with-research references link to an article about meditation and the DMN on the Mindfulness Association’s website.

As with all the episodes of COMEBACK COACH I hope you got something from what I shared today and if it’s left you with questions or wanting to make a comment please do come and talk to me. You can reach me by e-mail jc@talentkeepers.co.uk or on Instagram using the handle @comebackcommuk.

Comeback Community employee experience

COMEBACK COACH is one part of a broader package of support that we call the Comeback Community employee experience. It’s a blend of online resources, coaching, live expert Q&As, career development tools and line manager support that we deliver in organisations such as CIPD, Lily’s Kitchen, GAM Investments, Federated Hermes, FDM and more. You dear Bright Mind are the best possible person to help make the return to work experience where you work, a better one. There’s a simple, straightforward and quick way you can help us to start a conversation with your HR team. Just visit www.comebackcommunity.co.uk/introduce, fill a few boxes and leave the rest to us.

Until next time,
Stay Bright.

Psychology of, and coaching through, redundancy

Redundancy and how our sense of psychological safety is affected be being ‘at risk’ of redundancy is top of mind this week. The Protection from Redundancy (Pregnancy and Family Leave) Act 2023 comes into effect on Friday 6th April.

My thanks to for the following people for their contributions in this piece:

Dr Maddy Stevens, Reader in Organisation Transformation, Liverpool John Moores University.
Brian Ballantyne, guest on episode 82 of COMEBACK COACH, reflecting on his experience of being made redundant.
Suzette Squires, employment lawyers and Partner at Synchrony Law.

The Protection from Redundancy (Pregnancy and Family Leave) Act 2023

Get the lowdown in this quick snippet from my briefing with employment law and Partner at Synchrony Law, Suzette Squires.

COMEBACK COACH – Episode 82 – An uplifting response to redundancy

The latest episode of our podcast, COMEBACK COACH is an uplifting story of how Brian Ballantyne, an ex-Amazon employee, approached gardening leave and his struggle to secure a new role. You’ll also hear Brian in a coaching session with me as we work through how he’s feeling at the half way point of his leave. Redundancy is something we don’t speak enough about yet most of us will experience it. Brian offers such a hopeful lens on a difficult time and you can listen in full on Apple, Spotify and our website.

How psychological Safety is affected by being at risk of redundancy

Redundancy is an experience that seriously impacts a person’s sense of psychological safety and last year I read an excellent piece in The Psychologist – that’s the magazine for members of one of my professional bodies, The British Psychological Society – about the psychological consequences of redundancy. Dr Madeline Stevens wrote the piece and she’s a Reader in Organisational Transformation who teaches on the Human Resource Management programme at Liverpool John Moores University. In the piece she talks about the impact of redundancy announcements in the context of Timothy Clarks’ four stages of psychological safety. Here’s an extract that I hope is useful to as someone who might be going through the redundancy process:

Redundancies impact people at the basic level of physiological needs such as food, water, warmth and rest. It’s a significant psychological shock. The moment an employee is informed that their role is at risk of redundancy the fight or flight stress response will manifest with the release of hormones that will increase the heart rate, blood pressure and rate of breathing. The impact is immediate and does not only realise if and when an employee loses their job. Employers therefore need to adopt a more proactive approach in how they manage the implementation of redundancies, actively working to re-establish employee levels of psychological safety. The detection point of jeopardy for employers should be that being ‘at risk of redundancy’ alone has a severely negative psychological impact on individuals. I consider the impact of redundancy announcements in the context of Timothy Clarke’s 4 Stages of Psychological Safety.

Stage 1 – Inclusion Safety: In this stage, employees experience a connection with other employees through a sense of belonging. Redundancy announcements could lead to employees questioning their own unique attributes and contribution to the organisation.

Stage 2 – Learner Safety. When an employee is in this stage, they feel safe to embrace learning by asking questions and giving and receiving feedback. When employees feel that their jobs are at risk, they are more likely to be protective of their knowledge and more reluctant to experiment and drive innovation. Asking questions to drive learning will be limited as employees will be reluctant to demonstrate any perceived weaknesses in their own knowledge and skills.

Stage 3 – Contributor Safety: At this stage, psychological safety is established through employees being safe enough to use their skills and abilities to make a meaningful contribution. During redundancy situations, employees are more reluctant to share their contributions and work to their full potential due to feeling organisational betrayal as the psychological contract has been breached and the trust relationship damaged.

Stage 4 – Challenger Safety during this stage employees drive continuous improvement by challenging the status quo. Feelings of job insecurity and low self esteem caused by redundancy announcements have a negative impact on employees’ confidence.

How employers can support ‘survivors’ of a redundancy process

Snippet from end of COMEBACK COACH episode 82 – the podcast for people returning to work after a break – with Dr Maddy Stevens, Reader in Organisation Transformation.

Coaching for colleagues affected by redundancy

We are a team of coaching psychologists and executive coaches skilled in supporting the professional performance of wellbeing of employees in times of change. Contact us on +44 (0)1727 856169 and e-mail hello@talentkeepers.co.uk to start a conversation with us about what’s happening in your team and how we can help.

Why Don’t Men Take Shared Parental Leave in our Business?

For International Men’s Day we asked Ian Dinwiddy, specialist fatherhood coach in our executive coach team, for his reflections on why men don’t take Shared Parental Leave. We also spoke to new father Phil Bush from Euromonitor who took a sabbatical to help support his partner’s return to work from maternity leave, instead of taking Shared Parental Leave. Here’s a snippet from our conversation with Phil on episode 75 of COMEBACK COACH.

Why do businesses who have a female attraction and retention issue need to focus on men?

A paper in Harvard Business Review reports men and women equally ambitious, but the drop-off is faster for women in organisations where gender diversity isn’t valued. 80% of men become fathers and if we encourage men to take Shared Parental Leave we start to see men in a very different way; we start to change what success looks like in the workplace. Importantly, if employers can’t tell which individuals are going to take leave (women taking maternity or men taking Shared Parental Leave) we start to change the expectations and the culture within business. We make gender diversity and equality more likely.

Why don’t men take Shared Parental Leave in our business?

In a nutshell, men need their own protected period of leave, not a piece of their partner/spouse’s maternity leave. It needs to be well paid and men need to be actively encouraged to take it.

In 2017, two years after Shared Parental Leave was introduced to the UK with little success, coaching psychologist and founder of The Talent Keeper Specialists, Jessica Chivers, wrote on LinkedIn what employers need to do to encourage men to take it.

How to get men to take SPL in a nutshell

Ask expectant fathers to tell you they are an expectant father.

Jessica writes:

If employers really do want fathers to take-up SPL they need to start asking these employees to let them know that they are expecting (a voluntary “DADB1” form alongside the “MATB1” form women are given by the NHS to pass to their employers?). This is the start of cultural change and can be achieved through some simple internal comms, including stories of high profile men in the organisation or wider industry who have taken time out. This raises awareness of what SPL is, that it’s OK to take it and how it could be of benefit to the individual. Women returning from maternity leave are fresh, motivated and come with new perspectives and solutions to their organisation’s challenges – and with support they quickly return or exceed their previous peak performance. They’re assets and it’s about time we treated them as such and encouraged fathers to get in on the act too.

We can’t afford to extend our paternity leave offering, what else can I do to support our new dads?

How can line managers support new fathers in their team?

The main things:

Show an interest.
Make no assumptions.
Know the daily pressure points for the father(s) in your team.

Coaching fathers for sustainable performance & wellbeing

Talk to us about coaching fathers and small group workshops and webinars: hello@talentkeepers.co.uk and +44 (0)1727 856169.

Comeback Coaching Research

This research request has been e-mailed to past coachees who meet certain criteria. Please only REGISTER HERE if you have received an e-mail inviting you to be part of this research.

Summary of Research

Qualitative research methods will be employed to follow-up with, and understand the experiences of, women who had ‘comeback coaching’* to support their return to work after maternity leave. Specifically, the research will explore:

What endured from the coaching experience at the follow-up point (6-24 months post cessation of coaching programme).
If there are things not explored in the coaching at the time which in hindsight would have been useful to them.

The study will explore the experiences of 10-20 women who were coached by one of the associate coaches in the author’s business (but not by the author herself) via semi-structured interviews. Thematic analysis will be used to make sense of their experiences.

*Comeback coaching is a term first used by the author around 2012 to describe coaching with people returning to work after an extended period of leave. The author’s work at the time was primarily with women returning to their jobs after maternity leave. “Maternity coaching” is a term used in the executive coaching community and in the literature to describe coaching a woman during the time she is peri-natal (before and after birth) with specific reference to her work.

The author believes the term is open to misunderstanding because the word ‘maternity’ is more closely linked to the act of giving birth and physical changes in a woman’s body during matrescence, than to a woman’s work whilst she is pregnant, and therefore it could be assumed that the coaching is about supporting women through these things.

The author developed the term comeback coaching to both better represent the focus of this type of coaching and in acknowledgement that this type of coaching is applicable to employees returning to work after other types of (planned and unplanned) periods of extended leave, such as sickness absence, adoption leave, shared parental leave and carers leave.

The author describes comeback coaching to potential coachees and the HR professionals as “A collaborative solution-focused, results-orientated and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of work performance, life experience, self-directed learning and personal growth of the coachee during the time of preparing for and/or coming back from a period of leave from work.” This is adapted from the Association for Coaching’s definition of personal coaching: “A collaborative solution-focused, results-orientated and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of work performance, life experience, self-directed learning and personal growth of the coachee.”

The author is the founder of a business which has a mixed team of executive coaches and coaching psychologists. Because not all of the coaching team are coaching psychologists we use the AC definition with coachees and clients (the HR professionals/business leaders who contract their services) rather than the BPS DoCP definition of coaching psychology.

Interview Questions

Participants will be asked to share their reflections on comeback coaching in a semi-structured interview with the author. Questions will be sent to participants ahead of the interviews. Sample questions:

Thinking back to the coaching time you had with [name of coach], what were the main effects of the coaching?
Thinking back to the coaching time you had with [name of coach], what effects have stayed with you over time? OR what learnings have stayed with you over time? OR what effects have sustained over time?
Thinking specifically about your wellbeing, what effects on your wellbeing, if any, did coaching have?
BUILD Q: To what extent have those effects sustained over time?
Thinking back to your coaching experience with [name of coach] is there anything you wish you had discussed or worked on with [name of coach] that you didn’t or didn’t do, to the extent that you think, with hindsight, would have been useful?
What could you and [name of coach] have talked about back then – that you didn’t talk about or didn’t talk about to the extent that with hindsight it could have been useful to – that would have prepared for what is going on in your career right now?
Trying to put yourself back into that moment, if your coach had brought that to your attention, do you think it’s something you could have meaningfully or usefully talked about that then?
What changes to the coaching programme, if any, could have made it more beneficial to you?
What positive effects, if any, do you think you having that coaching had on your colleagues at [name of organisation] or the wider organisation?
Is there anything else you would like to say about your experience of comeback coaching?